The Letter ever written for a beloved no more

This evening after talking to you, I have finally confronted those questions that if I answer might solve few puzzles about my self. Like you said if you have to change, why would you and for whom would you? This question of yours also met me with bewilderment. Indeed, why should I change when I know for sure my love for you is so alone? Undoubtedly it is still love for you that make me talk to you, think of you when actually unconsciously I am disturbing you.
Before this conversation, the last time we have spoken so nicely was day before yesterday when you happily admitted you too have realized your love for me. But now you defied that and questioned my compatibility of refinement of taste, choice and lifestyle. That you being an engineer found it so difficult to solve few mental-months…

I love you and knowing this for sure that this love will never be reciprocated I continued loving you, because this is based on no conditions. I am reminded of your love for your ex-girlfriend every time I tried to share my feelings for you. I told you that I’ll never interfere in your affairs with others but please limit yourself to me when you talk to me.
Every time I tried to voice out my feelings you passed them away with an air of reluctance, apathetic and cold. You said I am impossible, unbearable and least lovable.

And innocence, a short living reptile, It infests only on the virgins. Your reason of falling short in love is my confused, split self, with over-excessive demands. And my demand is a portion of you.
I haven’t yet physically committed to you, so even if you leave me, the wont be that rigorous but once everything is over, and then you ignore me, probably I’ll have no alternative than to rip my self apart.

So, I decide it would be wise for us to be at a distance than embittering this relationship anymore than being a worm eating up your happiness. You are a musician and I am a poet and our goal is peace, and to attain that we must be comfortable with this distance. Few more years for me, if I do not die of any disease before-hand, I need to secure my family and I’ll be done. Enough of confusion, feeling bad, wrecked nerves and intrigues, a designer death will be an ideal destination for me from where at least I need not yell at you for addressing my restless love.
And if you think this is grossly sad, I am. I have not allowed myself the love of the person who loves me in stead I love the person who is bogged down stricken by cheat from his girlfriend. Phil introduced me to a person whose story touched me than those fingers that ever moved over me. This game of 22 days is over. And hey, you owe me a treat, you winner